Oh god. In the course of googling “relief for deviated septum” (because the off-brand nasal decongestant spray I bought at Target yesterday forewarns that usage for more than 3 consecutive days could actually make the chronic congestion worse) I have come to the horrifying conclusion that the Rugrats character I most resemble is Chuckie Finster.

And it’s not just the deviated septum. Multiple pieces are coming together.

I thought for sure I was a DeVille twin. Probably Phil.