This is where I am right now this is my life
While I am not Vanessa, I did happen to be in on this particular mass (double?) text…:
(Source: juuliuuhh)
My afternoon. In texts:
Me: I forgot my keys. :( Want to meet up in Salem and hand them off?
Dad: Not really.
Me: I guess you’ll see me in two hours then. Apparently I’ll be home for dinner.
Me: I just drove 2 hrs to Eugene and was walking up to my building when I realized I left the keys at home. fml so bad but like… I’m hysterically laughing. And my dad refuses to meet me halfway with the keys. And I have no clothes other than the ones I’m wearing.
Vanessa: Hahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahshhahahhaha
Me: I know right?! I’m dying laughing at how stupid this is
Julia: Hahahaha dear lord. Been there. No landlord? Cry to your faja?
Me: My dad IS my landlord!!!
Vanessa: You are soo dumb!!!!!
All written while sitting in the car in my designated parking space right in front of my building laughing maniacally despite the fact I had not showered in 24+ hours, had no other clothes, needed to be in town the following night and morning after, and my dad was all for having me drive two hours back home to turn around and start all over again.
Best friends and family, everyone! Look how supportive! I love them dearly.
juuleeyuuh, everyone.
She is, of course, referring to our long-term plan to be backup domestic/marriage partners should we not be already accounted for by our forties. It’s an ingenious scheme, really. Not cool enough to get in on the promising pacts in middle school, we instead cashed in on an awesome same-sex relationship built on mutual love for burritos, Tina Fey, drinking, and shoes. I mean, gay marriage will probs be not a prob by the the time we’re that age anyway. (Yes, I just used “prob” in two different contexts in the same sentence. Take note.)
Here’s to being always the bridesmaids cool, drunk aunts and never the brides responsible, sober mothers. FOREVER ALONE!… together. <3
1. “I don’t do drama!”
Translation: “I love drama!”
Anyone that actually has to utter the words, “I don’t do drama” is in reality an insane crazy dramatic person. They’re the person who actually stirs the pot, who meddles in your personal relationships and plays minds games, all while feigning an incredulous expression that seems to convey, “Who? Me?!” when shit hits the fan.
(Source: juuleeyuuh)
Oh juuleeyuuh… I can’t even remember what life was like before you got an iPhone. I hope we’re never forced to go back to that nightmare of an existence.
Good e-fucking-nough.
As in: 11.5/15 on the billiards skills test when I average 13.5-14.75? It’s a pass/fail class so you know what? Good e-fucking-nough.
Final Psych project due tomorrow. Group project that I’m doing alone. I have to locate, skim, and cite five scholarly texts; find and organize pictures for a PowerPoint; actually create said PowerPoint; write notes for every slide; and write a 2-4 page paper summarizing I-don’t-even-know-what before 12pm tomorrow.
It’s gonna be a piece of shit, but you know what? I’m gonna do it and it’s gonna be good e-fucking-nough because I hate psych anyway and I’m only taking the course to FINALLY fulfill my social science group requirement MY PENULTIMATE TERM OF UNDERGRADUATE STUDIES.
Yeah, I’m only completing GENERAL EDUCATION requirements now. Know what though? Good e-fucking-nough. Because I will weasel my way into law school and get enough letters of recommendation even though I never go to office hours or make pals with professors because I’m socially awkward and don’t need help understanding the coursework. BECAUSE I’M GOOD E-FUCKING-NOUGH TO DO WHATEVER THE BALLS I ACADEMICALLY WANT TO.
FUCK OFF WORLD. I’M HERE, I’M CAVALIER, AND YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.
See also: #overit
| — | Phrase of the day. From the minds of mad menschen. |
